it’s elsa here. i wrote the core of the following message long before the global change put the world on hold.
i am signing off…
for 6 months.
maybe for a year.
maybe for two or three.
in truth, i don’t know for how long.
i am slow in creation mode. sometimes a story of 2’000 words takes up to 20+ hours.
it equals countless hours behind the screen.
i have noticed,
i need more balance.
i need less screen-time,
and more human connections.
i want to hear n’ see emotions.
i want to feel the emotions.
i need a human touch.
i need face to face.
i want to do things together,
not flirt with words in isolation.
i need more balance.
when i write, one story includes…
- catching an idea,
- digging in the past where i pick a story,
- surfing in my emotional and mental self,
- the actual part of writing a story,
- checking facts to skip telling lies,
- refining a story again n’ again,
- scheduling a story to be sent to this mailing list,
- and finally, uploading a story to my website.
which takes me here…
“if i had more time, i would have written a shorter letter.”
that’s how i feel.
but, currently, i am not built for short.
so i made a choice to pause my writing.
no more long n’ short stories to this mailing list.
from now on, when i write, my focus is solely on the memoir in writing.
realistically n’ optimistically looking, i wish to write 50+ stories in a year with each story between 1’500 to 2’000 words. it’s roughly 85-hours a month, 21-hours a week, 3-hours a day, to ship a book with 100’000+ words in a year.
once it’s done, the professional editing kicks in.
looking at the numbers,
and knowing myself,
i will never make it.
and that’s okay.
even though, life says,
never say never.
but in truth,
for five weeks,
i have been on detox.
i have not written words.
i just don’t feel like writing.
i have been renovating a flat with my girlfriend.
i have been setting up e-commerce stores.
it’s where my creativity lives today.
i feel how in the wind of change,
coronavirus storms in me.
it shifts my values,
i say, go for it.
show me the way.
lead me to the unknown,
to where i need to go n’ be.
in the meantime,
i will continue with tuesday’s questions while i stop monthly stories.
i feel that we need the what-if-questions, the gift of polarity, more than ever to shift our perspectives so that more people could open up n’ wake up, collectively, together.
in my last story, everything changes, i wrote:
it’s a universal principle that no amount of change can enter your field unless it’s designed to only change you for the better.by matt kahn
on these days i ask myself — what’s the most courageous thing i can do right now?
i choose less screen-time.
i choose not to collect food.
i choose to connect with people.
a reminder from the february’s story…
here are questions to your heart.
what if i fear change because i fear the unknown, not knowing, the unknown has gifts to give?
what if everything that changes can only change me for the better?
we are all in it together. you n’ me n’ others too. i am here for you if you need me to be. just hit reply*
* elsa [at] loveorfear dot co