here’s how it began . . .
“i don’t care about moving visuals,” i said two month ago.
“but it will not work. people will not watch this video. they need action. they need visual,” a videographer said.
“i understand but i don’t care,” i added.
i had just come out from a 10-day silent meditation where i was not allowed to read, to write, to talk, to touch, and to look someone in the eye. also, stealing was not allowed. in those days, about hundred brains went through a deep surgery of their mind with hard-core mediation while i broke rules. not just one but many. on day two a vision dropped in and i couldn’t nor wanted to escape it. instead, i worked through my unseen fears.
when back in civilisation, i needed advice so i called up two of my trustworthy friends who sadly echoed the unwanted words. “it will not work.”
their vision was different from mine. they didn’t see what i saw. they didn’t know what i felt. but still, their comments got me.
“elsa, the video has to be less than three minutes in length, even better 60-seconds. deliver your message sharp and short. tell them, what’s in it for them, and what they’re getting out of it. people have a short attention span. work with it. no ones gonna watch a video that’s 8 to 10-minutes long, especially with no change of screens.” my business-oriented friend said.
and then it sneaked in.
i contemplated on ideas shared.
first, i thought of ads. the thirty to sixty second ones. i wondered how Apple and others have delivered their message in the shortest most powerful ways. emotion and status seemed to be the key.
i took a chance and played with mine. i discarded 80% of my words with a leftover 20% to say what i wished to say. it felt crammed. too short. not enough. i fucking hated it. i couldn’t connect with my own words, not even when i reinvented them.
second, i thought of flashy videos. i have many i love but those things need a mix of footage and time and money, all that i didn’t have. in my body i worked with the little i had but this concept flipped my vision upside down. my message lost it’s power. the idea of moving visuals diminished my words. i felt like i want to throw up, knowing, it’s not for me.
“you need visuals. it’s easier for people to consume your message,” i heard another say.
are you sure, i thought. have you ever tried doing it different?
in deep confusion, i embarked on a chain of thoughts.
fuck the attention span. i have no funds or skills or stuff to make it happen. but most of all, i don’t even want to.
what’s more important? the message or a flashy video to follow the crowd, blindly, unwillingly? do i need hundreds, or thousands, or five to six to seven number views? if so, then what? i have nothing to offer the hungry. nothing. i just need enough. enough is good.
“i don’t know what to do,” i voice my truth to my sister from another mother. “unbelievable. i need help.” then i took a break and added, “thank you for feeling what you’re healing for the world elsa. thank you.”
my day ended bright and finished with great surrender.
i swallowed the gospel, my vision, it’s crappy. i need a new plan.
i laid in my bed with sadness and joy hand in hand with my eyes scanning the wall. i watched posters with colorful ink. handmade posters that revealed a step-by-step guide towards the vision i had.
okay, maybe later, i said to myself and in search for peace i asked for help, life i will throw away my plans and i will rip up my map. please show me the plan you have for me. and thank you for choosing me for this mission.
next day was new.
i had no vision. no work. and no idea what to do. so i cooked and rested when late at night a compass found me.
“elsa i want to hear it. take it out of the bin and read it to me,” she said during our planned call.
i kneeled under my soviet table with my hand in trash. i pulled out twelve a6 papers i had stolen on day five during my 10-vipassana meditation just a week before.
i began reading, “for twenty-six years i …” when few lines in she screamed, “i love it. i love it. i love it. sit down and write it down. i want to hear all of it.”
i hang up the phone and began writing.
an hour in i had finished my first draft of the message. i voice messaged her and went to bed.
the vision resurfaced. and it got better. and i had unfinished business to do.
“hi, i’m elsa. the other day we talked over the phone. thank you for gifting me your time and thoughts,” i wrote at noon to the videographer. “before we begin, i want to say, our conversation kickstarted many changes in my body. i am thankful that once again my reality collapsed and redirected me towards a better future.”
i kept typing wherein few lines in i added highlights. “basic video is ideal. the ones with short attention span are not my people. i don’t wish to a play in the war of attention. my goal is – i want a boring and simple video with the message to the heart.”
i then added the message and specifics of the video.
“how do you feel in those words? can we work together? honesty is a virtue. please say it straight from the heart,” i added final words and clicked send.
same day, her reply swam in, she took a leap with me. and i took my risks.
after many drafts, a month later, we got together and recorded the message.
for this, i have many to thank. and you all know who you are.
with one of them being Liisa, an Estonian girl living in England.
her forever optimism and support has guided me through the thickest and toughest of times in my short-lived history. and with no doubt, she’s been a key player in my life.
“write it down. i want to hear all of it,” were her words two months ago.
omg, she did it again.
for years her words have invited my courage to come out and play. every-single-time. and truth being said, this launch, it would not be here without her and without me breaking rules.
thank you Liisa.
i have walked alone.
i have walked together.
but now i see, i don’t have to do life alone. never in isolation. and in celebration for that, here in LOVE OR FEAR we do it together, not alone.
together as a tribe.
and here i wonder . . .
what if taking a risk invites your unseen parts to be seen?
oh, here’s today’s special – a taste of transparency ?
we have 62 people in the tribe with a ~70% open rate for love letters. we’re going strong.
also, we have 10+ people who are not in the mailing list but asked to be notified on the day of launch. and their wish is my pleasure.
thank you for your attention.
we have a bright future.
ps. 2-days to go. i can already smell the simple launch. can you?
—elsa