today i am sharing something deadly personal — a confession to self that transformed into a letter to my ex.
she’s a key component who got me to the project loveORfear.
but first, a short intro.
after almost five years of traveling i arrived home in september twenty-sixteen. i had conquered parts of the world, myself. and on my last stretch, i had also met a woman of my dreams who i quickly i called a soulmate of mine.
excitement swirled in me.
i had no clue what’s about to unfold. all was new and unexpected.
two months went by when in late november my life as i knew collapsed again and again.
back then, i met a fearful child in a fearless skin.
unable to hide, i played in the dark, when one-by-one revelations dropped down on me.
read it for yourself:
a letter to Rose, handwritten in January 2017 →
(its looooong but revolutionary)
i also added a poem:
whatever we said and will say,
whatever we did and will do,
whatever we were and will be,
nothing, absolutely nothing,
can ever take away the beauty
of how much i loved you.
i then sealed the letter, kissed it and mailed it away (the old-fashioned way).
read or not read by her, I don’t know. but here’s what i know—i still love her, truly-madly-deeply, but i am eternally grateful that we’re not together.
she orchestrated a new reality in me by giving me the greatest opportunity to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with myself.
she’s a gift. gifts come and go, and they leave behind timeless beauty, tears and growth.
but still today, after eighteen months from a sudden heartbreak, her symphony plays cords i have never heard before.
it’s beautiful.
it’s powerful.
proudly i say, she became my ticket to loveORfear.
may you be blessed,
—elsa
ps. this letter might be the ending of the book i am currently writing.
a quote of the week, “in the world of endless questions, love is the only answer.”