non-stories

today’s love letter takes a poetic touch.

i’ve been writing non-stories since twenty-sixteen. i call them whatever’s. you can call them poems if you’d like. usually, they wash down from havens, from an unexpected space in time. they portray my experience. i grab a pen. i dirty a page. and history, as i like to say, records itself.

below are pieces written in the month of june.

feel the words.

– – – start →

1 / willpower

i juggle with life
through crowded air
to catch my breath
to breathe again

i try
i fail
i don’t give up
to breathe again
in crowded air

2 / blindful

they walked in
from here
from there
from everywhere

name a place
i got a list
long and wild
without mistakes

they changed my stride
i slowed down
i couldn’t run
to hide away

they walked in
with fears
with hopes
with dreams

name a word
i got a list
long and wild
without mistakes

we shared our lists
and dismissed
our whys were blind
they had no eyes

we shed our skins
and removed our blinds

as time went by
i saw myself behind blue eyes
with fears transformed
with hopes renewed
i met a dream to love myself

3 / blocks

road blocks misunderstood
people ducked underground

we hear what we want
we block the unheard

we see what we hear
we block the unseen

faith is lacking
hope is crawling
love is crying

we know what we see
we block the unknown

we love what we know
we block the unloved

again and again
we stumble on blocks
of people, places, things

we feel what we love
we block the unfelt

pick n’ choose is what we do

we escape dislike
we’re hungry for likes

we reject ourselves
we’re thirsty for love

ain’t change what we need?
now and forever, for ever ever?
but dammit, change is hard
and i know it is so

we dance in comfort
we fear discomfort
we think it’s safety
but we know, it ain’t so

we swim in confusion
to open our senses
to wake the fuck up

feel my love,
what if blocks are only blocks
to the blocked?

what if blocks ain’t blocks
to the unblocked?

so why not,
i invite you love,
welcome blocks
to become unblocked?

4 / curious about my make-up

what’s my make-up without a maker?
and who’s the maker of my make-up?

is it me?
or someone else?
or it’s the creator of life and love?

if me then seriously
why do i hide behind layers of dirt
where honesty struggles to breathe free with me?

if someone else then tell me
why do you throw your dirt on me
while i choose to be clean right here & now?

if the creator then what-the-fuck
why define beauty with shades of make-up
when all i want is to be who i am with nothing on me?

i think aloud now
aren’t all things pretty by default
where make-up’s never needed to cover me up?

5 / honesty speaks

honesty is tricky,
i never know
how it’s received.

honesty speaks volumes
to the hearts of all
that look for safety
from somewhere else.

honesty knows
the power it holds
when spread its wings
in fearful hearts.

honesty rewards
courageous souls
who change the culture
in their own hearts.

← end – – –

i’ve compiled all the best non-stories i’ve ever written. one file. many topics. expansive insights.

read the collection →

ps. in the upcoming months we’ll go deep into emotional support. we’ll touch the simplicity and confusion of what it means to be a feeler. and how come feeling is healing. i am afraid and excited to step into this.

do you write? if so, share away! i’d loved to feel your words (:

ship it,
–elsa