the transcript

For twenty-six years I played it safe. Then, for the next six years, I faced my unwelcomed fears. But for a year now I’ve either distracted myself or helped others realize their dreams.

Today I am here to say, no more.

I want to sing my song and help you sing yours too.

Hi, I am Elsa from Estonia and I am writing a book in English.

The book will tell a story of an orphan, who at age 8 got adopted into an emotionally dysfunctional family environment; who in her mid-twenties took her 75-liter backpack and left the known, in search for love, for meaning in life.

First, for 2.5 years, she traveled with money. Then, for the next 3 years, she traveled with no money.

It was then when in the magic of the unknown she met the world of infinite generosity.

Fearless, then fearful she did what only few have ever done.

6 years. 33 countries. 4 continents. Close to zero language skills. Hundreds of helpers. And 10’000 km on a bicycle. And as a hopeful human, 36 months moneyless through 27 countries, mostly alone as a gay woman in an overly masculine world.

And that woman, that was me.

And now, I invite you to take a leap of faith with me.

And here’s how . . .

In the memoir in writing, I will say the unsaid. The things the world rarely talks about.

Because, why not? Why not?

In truth, I am done. I am done hiding, pretending to be someone who I am not, and perhaps you too want to meet the real you. The (i’m)perfect but beautiful you.

And if you are brave enough to shake up your reality from the inside out then lets begin now.

With me it all starts with the simple power of storytelling. Because stories, throughout history, have always connected us. It’s where we feel heard and seen.

And that’s why, in the book, I will bring you real stories from real people with real lives which all sum up my entire life.

And with relief I say, I will refrain myself from telling you what to do, how to do it and when to do it.

Because, lets face it, it’s never worked. Never.

But you know what?

I have done it, more than I want to admit it. I have played God without permission.

But now I see, I only have godly experiences. And when I tell my story, I want to stick to what I know. And I want to do it with great honestly. That’s all.

So I’ll stop playing God, and instead, together with you, I will take a deep dive into our humanness, our brokenness, by talking about vulnerable things that matter, so that together we will become better as never before.

By reading my words, you can feel how we hurt ourselves with the stories we tell ourselves.

There’s pain. There’s joy. And there’s every imaginable emotion in between.

But most of all, there’s hope.

Hope for a better world that’s right here right now. And it begins with you and me. By us opening our minds, and our hearts, to unlearn and relearn the ways we’ve come to see the world.

Okay then, lets unwrap the magic. Shall we?

Together, in the book, we’ll discover the following:

• We will feel heard and seen.
• We will feel the openness to share our story.
• We will feel how our minds become more relaxed and our hearts are opening up.
• And then, we will feel invited to embrace our emotions – fully, deeply, madly.
• Then, as a byproduct, we will feel safe in the face of adversity, knowing we’re never alone.
• And I believe, we will begin to remove ourselves from toxic relationships, only to nourish the healthy.

But that’s not all. There’s more.

We will learn how painful upbringing can make us a better human.

And then, slowly but surely, we will begin to trust more n’ more and have greater faith into the unknown — to the inner worlds and to the outer worlds, and to the people around us.

Then, like Alice in Wonderland, we will step into a new reality within ourselves by exploring the unconscious parts of our existence — religion and spirituality; loving the unloved; and how generosity is the very breath we breathe.

And most definitely we will uncover the wild and exuberant story of what it means to travel moneyless as a gay woman in this world we all inhabit.

Yeah, oh yeah, we will literally unpeel our skin and touch the the heavens only to see how everything in our life is a gift.

And then, I truly believe, we will become fearless to sing our song.

But hold on. The real magic, its starts here…

I don’t have answers to your questions. I don’t. In fact, no one does. I only have stories with wild experiences. And by reading those stories you might, and possibly will, unlock your potential, your unapologetic, unpolished truth.

So, here I am, naked and afraid, standing before you, for unlived dreams.

And this, this is it, I now commit. From this moment on, I’ll go where’s fear and lead with courage.

And now I wonder… will you join me?

C’mon, come as you are. Be who you are. And lets write this book together. I would love that.

And then, gently and lovingly, let’s take off the masks we wear and let’s bring our fears home into the light where they belong.

I hope you’ll join me. See you on the flip side.