here are my raw thoughts from this week.
we love to be seen.
we love to be heard.
we love to be loved.
and we most certainly want to love deeper as never before with fear laughing at us.
statistically speaking, we tend to rely on someone else, on others.
for decades, it’s been my journey—painfully expansive. bit by bit, i have come to see how relying on things outside of me is a common equation of humanity. sadly we let things outside of us define our worth in addition to who we are and what we deserve.
today, i am here to say, its bullshit.
i also know, i am not saying anything new under the sun. we’ve all heard it but rarely gone further from knowing.
what if we would flip our approach?
here’s what i do…
i see myself.
i listen to myself.
and i love myself.
i do it through thick and think, in pain and joy, and in between as best as i know how.
here’s a famous marriage vow from Christians.
i … take you … to be my husband/wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God i make this vow.
no marriage has never end with a divorce, huh? or even better, all relationships are as healthy as fuck? damn, that’s not the reality we live in. so lets eyeball the discords we face—the divorce rate is all-time staggeringly high.
maybe the vows we give to others are the vows we are meant to give to ourselves?
vows that would strengthen the relationship between our own mind and own heart. our masculine and feminine. and reunite them in a holy matrimony.
what if we would give ourselves what we need the most?
c’mon, let’s break it down.
if you’re not seen by anyone, what if you’d be the one who sees you?
if you’re not heard by anyone, what if you’d be the one who listens to you?
if you’re not loved by anyone, what if you’d be the one who loves you?
my question is simple — do you give yourself what you most desire?
to me, once i give myself what my heart desires i anchor relaxation even in the midst of sorrow. and if i don’t know how to give myself what i most desire, i just repeat a mantra — i love you — aimed straight to my innocent heart.
and if that’s too much, i narrow it down by reminding myself — everything is here to help me.
i don’t particularly have to like what’s going on. i am just here to survive the difficulty of life’s unexpected play by feeling it all with openness ever present that guides me where i need to be, wherever the heck here is.
from experiences i know, i can be as stubborn as fuck, hold on with all my might while my heart will do the healing, grieving or letting go on my behalf.
i invite you to give yourself what you most desire. and definitely, do it your way!
practice. practice. practice.
failures are new beginnings. and it’s never about what you deserve. it’s your birthright to be seen, to be heard and to be loved, firstly by you and as a bonus by others as well.
happy birthday week to me,
—elsa
quote of the day, “it doesn’t matter what you think. what you feel. it matters what do you say to yourself when life’s a bitch.”